Does he deserves this? The treatment that I always give him. Maybe he couldn't merely understand why I give it. Maybe he wonders why it have to be always that way. Maybe he would asked himself if he has done wrong. Maybe this time he feels that he is not good enough. Maybe he is so sad...
If only I can make things easier, then there is no reason to feel weary. But I just cant help myself to keep coming back from my old self. The person that I tried to forget about. I know he is suffering from it; I know he is just trying to understand me. How will I tell him that there is nothing to worry about, its just me and my self liked destruction. I appreciate the good things and efforts that he always do to me, I guess he thinks he is not doing enough. But one thing is for sure, yes i love him. I love him with all my heart. I love him even if he thinks he cant give the world to me. I'm just being rude this time, a selfish one. But I know that I would be still needing him no matter what, because he is my cure, my strength, my wings. I know by doing this to him I just have hurt his feelings. Maybe someday he will get tired of all of this. Maybe he would surrender when he felt so tired of my drama. I dread of it, but I cant blame it all to him because he had done nothing wrong. If that happens then I wouldn't forgive myself for doing such foolish things. Maybe its the end of the world for me.
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