my HANZ -- singing his heart out!

Me and my Hanz were hanging out this day. We went to Timezone and sang our heart out in videoke! We enjoy doing this every time we have time for leisure and fun. I remembered him singing "Say that you love me" and he was so cute singing that song! Apparently, this video is kinda blurred but I still love posting this and broadcast this to people! hehehe By the way, my favorite song that I love him singing is "Ordinary song" by Marc Velasco because his voice suits that song, and he told me that it's his song for me... I just love it!

Chasing Time

Time is ticking so fast and it chases me. I have nowhere to go but a place of my own. I might go astray if I couldn't find a way out. It feels like being trapped in my own cage-- with nowhere to go, with nowhere to hide.

This life is deceiving and I don't know why. Why am I being cruel in my own paradise? Why darkness consumes my hopes and dreams? Why do I always query myself? Is there a reason? For whatever it is does it really matter? If I try to shout would anyone care to listen?... If all else fails I would still left here. No matter what I do; I wont be able to recant the things that has been gone. And now I'm in great remorse. If I had just done better, perhaps today I could stand and be proud. What I have now is nothing but scanty hope-- a hope that this time I wish I could do it much better; that this time I could stand on my own, and not in a hurry chasing the time; because at this point, time will not impede my plans for I have much of it.

How I wish I could make my life easier. How I wish I could do the things I want to do-- without hesitations and fears, that I could decide and stand for it and never regret for whatever outcome it would be. I want to live in positivity, to dispel all the worries in my head which always drags me to failure. This time I would like to enliven my whole being that has been through darkness for a long period of time. I don't wanna accustom my life to live in sadness because I know it wont help me to propel myself for success. Time is very precious. why should I waste it? This time I want to make a change. I will make it easier-- even better.

They say that we can always bring back the love that has been gone; and recant the words that has been said; but we can never bring back the time that has been wasted...

My Dilemma

Does he deserves this? The treatment that I always give him. Maybe he couldn't merely understand why I give it. Maybe he wonders why it have to be always that way. Maybe he would asked himself if he has done wrong. Maybe this time he feels that he is not good enough. Maybe he is so sad...

If only I can make things easier, then there is no reason to feel weary. But I just cant help myself to keep coming back from my old self. The person that I tried to forget about. I know he is suffering from it; I know he is just trying to understand me. How will I tell him that there is nothing to worry about, its just me and my self liked destruction. I appreciate the good things and efforts that he always do to me, I guess he thinks he is not doing enough. But one thing is for sure, yes i love him. I love him with all my heart. I love him even if he thinks he cant give the world to me. I'm just being rude this time, a selfish one. But I know that I would be still needing him no matter what, because he is my cure, my strength, my wings. I know by doing this to him I just have hurt his feelings. Maybe someday he will get tired of all of this. Maybe he would surrender when he felt so tired of my drama. I dread of it, but I cant blame it all to him because he had done nothing wrong. If that happens then I wouldn't forgive myself for doing such foolish things. Maybe its the end of the world for me.

It's Love Month!

It's love month! Everyone is excited about it. It's the time of the year were people roam around malls or go clubbing or anywhere else, to celebrate it with their loved ones or for those singles- the perfect time for them to haunt or to meet others to look for a potential partner. Indeed, this is the time of the year where everyone is so busy.

Im also excited for it, because its my first time to celebrate it with my Hanz. But I dont know how will I spend it with him. Well Im still clueless but Im excited that I will be able to celebrate it this year with the one so special to me. I love being with him, he has a lot of surprises, even those simple and petty ones. For whatever this celebration would turn out, there is no doubt that I would definitely enjoy it with him. Huuhaaa